When you listen to music, then better listen to it really loud, because if you don´t, then your head will make you remember all the things that heart your heart... Everything you are afraid to tell even yourself...
Everyone has things that they do´nt want to confess to them selfs... For example, I do´nt want to confess myself that I´m such a bitch that I´m lazy, that I hurt so many people, my soul is so dark, I try to scream to myself I´m beautiful even thought I hear my mind saying that I´m as ugly as hell, I try to believe that life will get better, even though it´s just getting worse, I try to believe that someday I will be beloved, that one day I´ll understand how to make everyone like you, how to see were is the limit, how to be in harmony with myself...
I remember I didn´t have this thoughts until ninth grade, until that time I didn´t repair at all that, I simply was an alone girl that read all time books, that liked to be alone, that didn´t worry at all on the opinions of the other people. I still remember the problems that time.. they were like a low grade or that I should have been 5 minutes ago home, when I look now to my past, I understand that it was so stupid to worry about that silly things.. that that was simply nothing comparing to other problems: when my friend ran away from home to be with her boyfriend, but some weeks after she had to ask her parents to get back because he told her to get out; that there are people that has to deal with home violence, that there are people starving, there are people that saw they´re parents dying. All that people have real problems. Mine problems are comparing to their are nothing, write? I try so hard not to be selfish, but then I remember that my life may not be as bad as the dark life of others, but still, I want to be happy, I want to have a beautiful house, a good daughter or a son, a great husband, a work witch would make me say that I love Monday... But then I remember that for that I need to study really hard, I need to socialize, need to evolute, need to move my life forwards.. and that´s pretty hard.. but I´ll try.. because I want to believe that I am the person that draws the road of my life...
Just hope this is true...
Everyone has things that they do´nt want to confess to them selfs... For example, I do´nt want to confess myself that I´m such a bitch that I´m lazy, that I hurt so many people, my soul is so dark, I try to scream to myself I´m beautiful even thought I hear my mind saying that I´m as ugly as hell, I try to believe that life will get better, even though it´s just getting worse, I try to believe that someday I will be beloved, that one day I´ll understand how to make everyone like you, how to see were is the limit, how to be in harmony with myself...
I remember I didn´t have this thoughts until ninth grade, until that time I didn´t repair at all that, I simply was an alone girl that read all time books, that liked to be alone, that didn´t worry at all on the opinions of the other people. I still remember the problems that time.. they were like a low grade or that I should have been 5 minutes ago home, when I look now to my past, I understand that it was so stupid to worry about that silly things.. that that was simply nothing comparing to other problems: when my friend ran away from home to be with her boyfriend, but some weeks after she had to ask her parents to get back because he told her to get out; that there are people that has to deal with home violence, that there are people starving, there are people that saw they´re parents dying. All that people have real problems. Mine problems are comparing to their are nothing, write? I try so hard not to be selfish, but then I remember that my life may not be as bad as the dark life of others, but still, I want to be happy, I want to have a beautiful house, a good daughter or a son, a great husband, a work witch would make me say that I love Monday... But then I remember that for that I need to study really hard, I need to socialize, need to evolute, need to move my life forwards.. and that´s pretty hard.. but I´ll try.. because I want to believe that I am the person that draws the road of my life...
Just hope this is true...
Комментариев нет:
Отправить комментарий