Just burn in hell :3

After having some small chat with people, I realized that people don´t understand me at all :o ... No, seriously, they told it to me directly.  I was offended for a second there, but then I thought: why spend my nerves with people that don´t understand me? So I told them that if you don´t like the way I am, then just walk away, I´m not holding you, so just go to hell!!


But seriously, why do you need to spend time on people you don´t like (if you don´t understand a person, then you don´t like that person..)? No, seriously, if you don´t like a person, then stop faking feelings, don´t say stuff you are not feeling, don´t try to look cool/ nice or something else, just be yourself, and if you want to say soml afterwards), and then say it! Say it laugh enough to embrace that son of the bitch! Make sure you are not licking anyone´s ass, because it´s better to have no friends around you then to discover with time that everything that surrounds you is a mirage... Trust me, I have passed all this shit, and sometimes I want so much to be that girl that no one knows... That girl is happy that she doesn´t need to hear all this stupid asses!!!!

There is a music that write now I want to hear again and again:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dasc87uskRQ&list=PL5CE79226D383C83D
To people that will like it: make shure you hear it really loud and think abaut a person you want to kill.... or just if you feel yourself a son of the bitch.
Have fun ^^

Hello everyone^^ hope you had many Christmas presents, hugs, smiles and all that stuff that people have on Christmas. As I´m a blogger, and I´m too far away from all you people, my present for you will be some youtube stuff you can watch if you have many important stuff to do, but you don´t want to do this (as me :p),
so,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpjjbeKzE8Y&list=PLF76AE013DBAA4D3E&feature=mh_lolz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI9Fms7RAjQ

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h_bmPbPHCOY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PNHIETXh4Vw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTFZyl7hfBw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ol2DedEhOGI

and there are muuuch more stuff you can watch on the Internet.. so go ahed and waste your time.... Oh, and if you´re feeling lonely and want to speak to someone.. don´t do it!! cause it will only lead to disappointment. Better speak to a robot, they are funny^^ By the way, there is a site you can use to speak with them:
http://cleverbot.com/
<3 U all, bye

Why?

Last night I went out with people that I didn´t know at all... and I realized that they are cool... I liked to go out with them and I hope I´ll go out with them more times... but no to the bars and to the disco.

I liked to go out at night when I was going trough praxis. That was really cool. Lots and lots of people went out, we had so much fun at socializing and getting to know people from our school. The reason why they went out wasn´t just to get drunk or to smoke so much to have respiratory disease, they just went out to have fun.

Maybe, some people only know this way to have fun.. but it´s not the only way to have fun!!! Why can´t people nowadays just go to the beach, or to a park, or simply have a walk? In my opinion, you don´t have to do this just to have fun... Anyway, I´m sure I had some brilliant ideas to make this stuff interesting, but i was writting this so much time, that I´ve forgotten it, so just have lots of fun reading the opinion of a young girl that is sad that was born in such a spoilt sentury.

As time passes, you get over your problems.. so did I.. so I forgot all the stuff I published a while ago, and restarted to speak with my "friends"... Anyway, as a friend would go to Brazil, I had to get to know other people.. and I hate it. I like to have a little amount of friends. If I decided that with that amount of people I speak and spend my time, it means that I won´t speak with anyone else... only in emergency i´ll speak with them.. Anyway, as I was left alone, I had to speak with other people..  I guess I´m doing it well, because for the first time I´m in hight school, I´ll go out with people I barely know.. Just hope it will be fine... hope I´ll get to know other people better and that I´ll have fun.. I really want to change the person who I am, because that´s something wrong with me.. and I must change it!
Well, wish me luck, because I must look like I´m a cool and interesting person... hope the nigh will be great.. kisses ^^

Fuck society!! Just ger rid of all that fake people and trust only yourself, because the rest of them don´t care about you!

The people get older, and as they get older, they make they´re baggage off pain, bad memories and other stuff bigger and bigger with the time..
For example, I didn´t use to have problems to say that someone is my friend.. I was simply so innocent.. I could consider a friend a person that I met just few ours ago. And I didn´t find it strange or something.. anyway, for me a friend is someone I can rely on, someone I could trust and someone with who I could speak openly. But once, I made a bad choise of a friend. That supposed friend once in front of all my class just said that I couldn´t sit next anymore. That hurt really bad. The next few years I simply tried to get over it, and to name someone a friend, I needed time, weeks or even months.. With time I was again that little girl that is opened to the world. Why am I such a stupid bitch?

Of course that if I forget to protect myself, then stuff happen, why do I always forget?

The problem is that In hight school, I considered a girl as a friend, witch trade me for a boy that she is kind of kissing but don´t love (or she is now falling in love.. anyway, he dosen´t want to tell me all the true). Of course life couldn´t make me exactly the same happy end, so she changed a little bit the scenario... With time, she began to talk less with me, and the less she spoke with me, the more she spoke with him.. then they started to kiss.. I were still both friend, and I didn´t mind it at all.. of course I felt like I was there the 3rd that souldn´t be, but I still were, because I felt that my friend needed me, and I knew I could help, and as I considered her my friend, I wanted to help, because I can do everything to my friends... But... The stuff didn´t stop there.. They both stopped talking with me with time. Didn´t invite me out, went out at school without asking me to come with them, changed the place were they are sitting... At first I thought that they simply forgot, but today I understood it´s not true! I simply was traded.. She traded me to that boy... Even today, I was talking to her like nothing happened, and she mentioned that I were annoying (people already told me this very often, so what she said was simply the last piece), oh, and the boy said "Yeah! I knew you would said it" and they laughed without understanding that they had just opened a sore, witch I tried to cure for some fucking long years!!! In a few seconds they destroyed something I was doing years, years I tried to make me believe I changed, years I believed that I´m now better, that now people will like me, that now I could think about having a family with friends... In a matter of seconds, they destroyed everything.

And you know what? They didn´t even notice! I spend all my afternoon trying not to cry, the whole afternoon trying to don´t make noise.. all I heard from them was if I had a scissor. The people I considered friends wouldn´t even notice if instead of me would come a dog in my clothes to the classroom. When I went to the bathroom, even two girls I barely knew asked me if everything was ok... They almost didn´t know me, but they still understood that something was wrong with me. It was so hard to make a fake smile and say of course I´m fine!

I didn´t say a word to them, didn´t look they´re way, and when I came home, camila remembered me of a wrong I had to make with the group.. I asked something, and after receiving the answer, said that I hope I didn´t annoyed her with the question and logged off.. I just hope I wont need to speak with her anymore because I hate when people hurt me, especially when that people I used to trust.. just hope nobody will stop from being a lonely girl.. I really like it, and when I were that girl, nobody could reach me... I was simply in another dimention, far away from everyone, and I want to be back there. 

When you listen to music, then better listen to it really loud, because if you don´t, then your head will make you remember all the things that heart your heart... Everything you are afraid to tell even yourself...
Everyone has things that they do´nt want to confess to them selfs... For example, I do´nt want to confess myself that I´m such a bitch that I´m lazy, that I hurt so many people, my soul is so dark, I try to scream to myself I´m beautiful even thought I hear my mind saying that I´m as ugly as hell, I try to believe that life will get better, even though it´s just getting worse, I try to believe that someday I will be beloved, that one day I´ll understand how to make everyone like you, how to see were is the limit, how to be in harmony with myself...
I remember I didn´t have this thoughts until ninth grade, until that time I didn´t repair at all that, I simply was an alone girl that read all time books, that liked to be alone, that didn´t worry at all on the opinions of the other people. I still remember the problems that time.. they were like a low grade or that I should have been 5 minutes ago home, when I look now to my past, I understand that it was so stupid to worry about that silly things.. that that was simply nothing comparing to other problems: when my friend ran away from home to be with her boyfriend, but some weeks after she had to ask her parents to get back because he told her to get out; that there are people that has to deal with home violence, that there are people starving, there are people that saw they´re parents dying.  All that people have real problems. Mine problems are comparing to their are nothing, write? I try so hard not to be selfish, but then I remember that my life may not be as bad as the dark life of others, but still, I want to be happy, I want to have a beautiful house, a good daughter or a son, a great husband, a work witch would make me say that I love Monday... But then I remember that for that I need to study really hard, I need to socialize, need to evolute, need to move my life forwards.. and that´s pretty hard.. but I´ll try.. because I want to believe that I am the person that draws the road of my life...
Just hope this is true... 

You know what really gets me? I went to high school and discovered that you may do´nt come to the classroom, and ask somebody else to sign for you.. but if the teacher afterward counts the amount of people in the classroom, compares it with the number of present students and discovers that somebody has signed for another person, then you´re completely fucked!! And this fuck won´t give you any kind of satisfaction!
In my classroom there are 3  lawsuits currently, and I´m in one of them... I can have an annotation about this in my curricular (like: OH MY GOSH!! SHE MISSED ONE LESSON!!! :O) or you can even go to the court... I really do´nt know what to do...

So many times I retrospect my life and want to change so many stuff... I´ve made so many mistakes.. But then my brain just laugh at me and says that then I would have another problems... Maybe I´m going crazy or something like that... Just hope that if I am, then I wont need to fight with all the shit that life keeps trowing at me -.-